All posts tagged: praise

Could Gold Stars and Praise really be a detriment to your child? Alfie Kohn talks about this and more in PUNISHED BY REWARDS

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By Leslie Lindsay  Back–to–School Series: Remember the 1990s? Were you raising kids then, or maybe you were one? Do you recall the incentive programs teachers dangled–“If you read 100 books you get this?” or, the BookIt! Program through Pizza Hut–a star for every title you completed and so many stars got you a personal pan pizza at your local restaurant? But that was just books and reading incentives. Countless medals were given to every kid on every sports team across the U.S.: “Most Improved,” “MVP,” “Most Likely to Sit on the Bench.” Okay, that last one is a bit of a joke, but in all seriousness, there seemed to have been an award for just about anything. And then these kids grew up. They started expecting similar accolades in college, in the workplace. Everyone started believing that they were exceptional. But maybe they weren’t.  In 1993, Alfie Kohn challenged this basic strategy we use for raising children, teaching students, and managing employees, which he summarized in six words: “Do this and you’ll get that.”  This …

The Teacher is Talking: Mindsets, Part 2

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By Leslie Lindsay If you recall, oh…about two weeks ago, I wrote a blurb about Carol Dweck’s Mindsets.  Specially, her ideas about “growth mindsets,” versus “fixed mindsets.”  Here’s a little graphic to refresh your memory: Well, it really  got me thinking.  Our children need reminders like these often. And I am not just referring to older students, but preschool kids, too.  I know, I know, you are thinking I am a meanie mom who cracks the whip all the time.  In fact, I am quite the opposite.  I feel kids need to have time to explore, create, and think on their own.  I also highly value education and actual-factual things.    And because I am a parent of a child with ADHD, I also know that kids need guidance and direction.  And lots of reminders.  (image source: http://slavieboy.blogspot.com/2011/06/mindsets-and-carol-dweck-live-from.html) Thus, my idea of “parenting thru the backdoor.”  It’s really quite simple.  Instead of beating my kids over the head with flashcards, I make it a game.  That’s right.  For variety sake, try hiding the flashcards around the house.  …

The Teacher is Talking: Nurturing your Child with Praise

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By Leslie Lindsay There is something about the brain that I love.  The seat of imagination, intelligence, emotion, bodily regulations, it’s a pretty darn amazing thing, the brain.  But there is more it than just those things…it has to do with love. According to a Washington University study, positive reinforcement may increase brain size.  The article, from the St. Louis Post Dispatch indicates supportive mothers who practice positive reinforcement actually help their children’s brains grow.  I remember hearing something along those lines when my babies where younger–loving them, cuddling them, holding them doesn’t just get them to be quiet and content, it actually makes them smarter.  Thus, the message: you cant’t “spoil” your baby by holding them. Brain scans show that school-aged children of nurturing mothers have a 10% larger hippocampus–the region of the brain that has to do with learning, emotion, memory, and stress response as compared with children whose mothers were deemed less responsive/supportive/nurturing. How did they do it?  Researchers gathered 92 children between the ages of 3 and 5.  The watched how they …