In My Brain Today: Did Cupid Miss the Mark?!

Did your Cupid miss the mark…or was he right on target?  I don’t know about you and yours, but Valentine’s Day is sort of a let-down. 

It always has been, ever since I was a sophmore in H.S. and wanted that really cute senior I was crushing on to ask me to dinner at the place where he was a waiter (truth be told, he was probably working the evening of V-Day!). 

I can remember how the snow would be melting, creating a nice mushy sponge of mud and how spring seemed right around the corner, but in reality is was proabably still several (or more) weeks away.  Yes, another let-down. 

In college, I had a boyfriend who gave me some pathetic roses, yet he was quite proud of them.  He told me later that he was going to have a singing quartet show up at my door singing my praises and presenting me with a bouquet of roses…but it cost too much.  Another let down! (maybe he should have just kept quiet about he singing quartet, hum?)

And so, Valentine’s Day has never really lived up to the romantic expectations I have created in my brain. 

Not that this past Valentine’s Day was all that bad.  It wasn’t.  I just have had to reframe my ideas of how the day of love–created mostly my Hallmark–should be spent.  Having kids on a romantic Monday holiday, just sort of means “sorry, not tonight dear.” 

Here’s a multiple choice quiz for you:

1.  How long does the joy from a material gift from your sweetie last? 

a).  One day

b).  Six days

c).  Two weeks

d).  None of the above

The answer is c).  Two weeks. (source: Parenting Magazine, November 2010). The best answer is not available…the best answer would be a shared experience such as a vacation, a regular movie date, or a Scrabble play-off. 

So, in the hum-drum sort of life we live as parents, it’s bound to be that our marriage gets a little stale.  Here are some fun questions you can pose to your honey as you are–I don’t know…hanging out, during commercials, or taking a walk in the woods:

    • What’s the nicest compliment someone gave you–ever.
    • What’s your favorite wedding day memory?  (Y)Our wedding, of course! 
    • If you had one week to yourself–no family or work, what would you do?
    • What has been your most memorable meal ever? With me?
    • If you were offered an all-expense paid second honeymoon, where would you go?  What would we do? 
    • Make a list of the date ideas you would love to do someday–who cares about the cost–just get some ideas down. 

          Have fun!  You may find that doing a simple exercise like this actually brings your closer–and longer happiness–than say, a box of chocolates.

          And that is what is in my brain today, Thursday February 17th 2011.

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