When I was younger, I longed for the day when I was “all grown-up.” I don’t know why, not really. I suppose it was so I could have my own house, not be in school, drive a car…but now that I am “all grown-up,” I don’t always want to deal with it.
My husband and I have this conversation often. It goes something like this:
“When did we become grown-ups?”
“I don’t know. When we had kids?”
“No, when we got married.”
“I think it was when we got a ‘real job.'”
“Not really. Must have been when we purchased our first house.”
“Or the minivan?”
Either way, the process of becoming a grown-up is that that–a process. And looking back, would I really want it any other way?
But the thing is, when I was a kid…my mom made all of those calls to find a suitable eye doctor for us. My mom planned, shopped, and prepared the meals. My dad went to work. My dad paid the bills and took out the trash. My mom watched soaps, my dad watched “The Bob Newhart Show,” (soaps are dwindling now and great sit-coms are, too). They usually both took care of the yard and somehow the cars got serviced and all of that “stuff,” grown-ups do.
Sometimes I wonder if I am doing the job of grown-up well. Sometimes I wonder if anyone even notices (probably not–it’s that invisible force). But the thing is, I am doing it. I am acting like a grown-up, even if I am just an imposter.
And that is what is in my brain today, Thursday June 23 2011.