The Teacher is Talking
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The Teacher is Talking: Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Leslie Lindsay

As a writer, I love words.  As a parent, I love well…my kids (most of the time).  So, when the rare combination of words and kids go well together, it makes my heart sing.

My 5 year old recently had a birthday.  The “theme” of gifts had a lot to do with beads–beading, apparently is a big deal for girls of this age.  On one of the bead jars came a little booklet with all of these adorable sayings from kids.  I got a kick out of it, and I thought you might too.

The tag on the jar of beads begins with:  “Listen to a seashell and you’ll hear the ocean.  Listen to a child and you’ll hear brillance.” 

“Did you know that my Uncle Tony is driving around the country in a winning bagel?”  –Sean, 5.

Mom:  “Look Chris!  It’s the capital building.”

Chris, 5:  “Oh, well where is the lower case building?” 

“Soda is not good for your body.  You drink it and the next thing you know, youare smoking.”  –Alyssa, 5

Maddy, 4: “What does it mean that it’s election day?”

Mom: “It means that everyone gets to pick who they want to be President and run our country.”

Maddy: “Oh, I hope they don’t pick me!” 

6th grader Sam says this on a science quiz, “Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.  Oxygin is pure gin.  Hydrogen is gin and water.”

“Mommy, you are the most beautiful woman I ever saw before I left the house.”  –Callie, 2

(It’s dinosaur week at my daughter’s preschool class…had to add in this one):

“My triceratops is afraid of our dust bunnies.”  –Clara, 4

And finally, Rio 4 asks this:

“If the day I came out of your belly is called my birthday, what is the day I went in called?”

Now, if you can’t find a teachable moment in any of these honest-to-goodness kid quotes, then perhaps you better ask your kiddos what is on their mind (they’ll probably tell you!).

To read more quotes, or to add your own chid’s quote, visit

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