Say That Again: Mother Knows Best

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By Leslie Lindsay

Here’s a post that ran over the summer when I was a guest blog on The Speech Ladies Blog.  Thought it was worth repeating as we struggle with myths and facts related to CAS.  Of course, next week is Thanksgiving and you are likely to be spending some time with your own mother (or mother-in-law).  These myths and facts just may help you get through dinner.    vintage mother lg vintage mother lg(image source: http://www.smashboxstudios.com/yello/2012/05/weekend-shenanigans-may-11-13-2012/vintage-mother-lg/)

  • Your Mother Says:  Einstein was a late-talker. 

You can respond:  “That may be true, but he was also a mathematical genius.” Einstein began talking at age three but he was still not fluent when he turned nine.  Research on Einstein’s brain suggested to some neuroscientists that he was a late-talker because of the unusual development of his brain, as revealed by an autopsy.  No one knows if this is the reason why Einstein took so long to develop the ability to speak, much less whether this is true of the other people of outstanding intellect who were also late in beginning to speak.  (See “The Einstein Syndrome: Bright Children Who Talk Late” by Thomas Sowell) 

You Can Respond:  “I believe that all children will respond in developmentally appropriate ways when an engaging caregiver works with them, baby-talk or not. 

Motherese is a very effective form of communication for babies and toddlers.  They like—prefer even—the high-pitched sing-song-y melody of this communication style.  It is engaging, silly, and comforting. (See also Fernald, A. “Four-Month-Old Infants Prefer to Listen to Motherese.” INFANT BEHAVIOR AND DEVELOPMENT 8, 181-195 (1985). 

Sure, it may be true that your child has older sibs who seem to ‘get’ them best, but ultimately your child is in charge of her own communication, not her siblings. 

  •  Your Mother Says:  He has all of his needs met and doesn’t ‘need’ to communicate.” 

You Can Respond:  “I can see where you are coming from.  But, really we try to give our child choices and not just ‘do’ for him.  Even when choices are presented: ‘do you want juice or milk?’ he just grunts.”

Communication is not just a means to get needs met.  Humans are social creatures.  We want to speak.  We want to share our ideas, thoughts, feelings, and more.  It’s not just about basic needs.

 You Can Respond:  “Maybe.  But for now it’s frustrating to hear her cry, whine and carry on. I think something else is going on.  And it’s not shyness.  Being shy is completely different from not talking.”  Sure, we talk about things that we are passionate about or know something about.  But aren’t all children passionate and curious about the world around them? Being shy is simply being more reserved; a personality trait if you will—yet these children have the ability to speak—and they do, but maybe just not as often as others.  Children with speech delays or disorders simply can’t speak at developmentally-appropriate levels. 

[“Your Mother Says” and “How You Can Respond” are not meant to replace or represent a speech-language pathologist.]

If you are concerned about your child’s speech-language development, please have him evaluated by a qualified speech-language pathologist (SLP).  Worst case scenario:  nothing is wrong; you were just a proactive parent. 

For more information about Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS), take a look at SPEAKING OF APRAXIA: A Parent’s Guide to Childhood Apraxia of Speech.  Published by Woodbine House, a leader in producing top-quality special needs parenting resources since 1985.  Speaking of Apraxia  is the first-ever non-academic book devoted exclusively to childhood apraxia of speech.  It is available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble (on-line and in-store) and through the publisher’s website, www.woodbinehouse.com 

Bio:Leslie Lindsay is a former child/adolescent psychiatric R.N. at the Mayo Clinic.  Her daughter, Kate is a bright and creative 2nd grader resolving from childhood apraxia of speech (CAS).  It is because of her that Leslie wrote the first book designed for parents on this complex neurologically-based motor speech disorder.  Speaking of Apraxia: A Parent’s Guide to Childhood Apraxia of Speech (Woodbine House, 2012) is as much as labor of love as it is a resource to help others along their apraxia journey.  She lives in Chicagoland with her husband, two daughters, and a basset hound where she writes full-time.  Follow her blog, www.leslie4kids.wordpress.com
“Practical Parenting with a Twist” in which she writes 5x/week on apraxia, education, parenting, and the writer’s life.  “Like” her Facebook Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Speaking-of-Apraxia-A-Parents-Guide-to-Childhood-Apraxia-of-Speech/235772599837084?ref=hlFollow her on Twitter at @LeslieLindsay1

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