In My Brain Today: Making Compromises


Marriage is all about being a team and making compromises.  There’s a bit of attraction and common interests and shared goals, and if we’re lucky–romance : )  I say this after 7 years of marriage to a wonderful guy whom I still find “cute.”  Oh, he would cringe if he knew I put that out in the cyber world. 

So I want a new couch.  Badly.  Yesterday.  Last year.  Tuscan red.  I’ve never had a red couch.  But there is something so alluring about it.  The richness, the warmth, the romance.  I found what I consider a good deal–it’s not the most expensive and not the cheapest, either.  It’s not the L.L. Bean sofa I saw in the recent catalog.  It’s a knock-off.  It’s adorable.  But the final answer is “No.”

It’s hard to hear “no” in my thirties.  I thought that was reserved for 3 year olds and teenagers.  I guess that’s what I signed up for as a stay-at-home mom.  I can’t have everything I want right when I want it.  Since I’m lucky enough to stay home and raise the girls for the first part of their developing years I really shouldn’t complain.  I can deal with a couch with a few kid-related stains.  It’s the same couch I purchased as a single nurse that adorned my first real apartment.  And in a way, getting rid of that couch is like an end of an era.  Am I ready for that?  

Here’s another compromise I made recently–waking up at the crack of dawn.  At first I thought it was a way to connect with my husband before he left for work–without the girls.  Okay, it’s only day #2 of doing so…so that may change.  But instead the whole family seems to be awake at the same time–early.  Now I just have a longer kid-filled day when I was really hoping for a quiet moment or two with Jim.  Or myself, heaven forbid. 

But it really has become quite nice.  I actually have time to get down on the floor and play Legos with the girls.  I can see the inner workings of their minds as they construct restaurants for their Lego kitty and cars for their shiny gemstones.  I see their little fingers manipulate the tiny plastic bricks that build the castles of their imagination and the world of their dreams. 

So while I want a new couch and a little early morning time for myself, I am finding that the compromises I have made don’t really harm me, but instead make me a better wife and mom.

And that is what is in my brain today, Thursday July 22.

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