It must be this virus I have been toting around for the last two or three weeks that has got me down or the sheer frigidity of Chicagoland that has done it, but I am not feeling so holiday-ish lately.
In fact, Kelly and I had our weekly “lunch date” at Panera today at the mall. I was thinking the hustle and bustle of the mall along with the shiny bright decorations would have done the trick. But, instead it all seemed so hum-drum, so trite. I even tried to get Kelly to step over to Santa’s spot in the mall, just for a little peek, thinking it would perk me up in terms of holiday spirit. “No, mom. I’m too shy, ” she sheepishly told me as she pushed me into Macy’s. So, I bought some ridicuosly over-priced eye cream from Clinique hopefully musing, “It must be my eyes. Yes, I need some eye cream to ‘wake-up’ my tired eyes.”
When we got home, I sat my tiny purchase on the dryer in the mud room and then stumbled into the rest of the house. I screwed my lips into a unflattering contorsion as I stared at the Christmas tree, “I just want Christmas to be over already,” I said under my breath. I fixed a few random branches on the evergreen and straightend a few rouge ornaments. There. My holiday contribution of the day.
I really wish I understood what’s at the heart of the matter. The shopping is done. Most of the wrapping is, too. The cards are out. The food is being catered. The order is in. Although I do plan to do some baking on my own. We have seen Santa and made a Gingerbread house. The tree is up, the house is decorated, the porch is festive. And now…nothing. Maybe that’s it. Maybe the fact that everything is pretty much done, I am no longer excited. Even the girls are “forgetting” to stay up-to-date on their advent calendar. It must be bad.
I just read this sweet little book to Kelly before nap time, “Emily’s Christmas Gifts” by he Post girls–as in Emily Post, the etiquette guru. It’s all about this hectic, crazy time of the year, giving lots of tips and ideas on how kids can help parents by being kind, considerate, happy, smile-y, and helpful. It dawned on me then that this is what the season is really all about. It’s not about the decorations or the gift wrap or the yummy treats. Although those things do make it enjoyable. Perhaps, that is what I am missing?
Or, perhaps what I am missing is some Zithromax.