I have been toiling away on this novel of mine for some time now. On and off for about four years now. Geesh…you’d think I’d just give up already. Well, in the meantime I published another book (non-fiction–see side bar) and it’s doing quite well–a finalist in the Reader’s Choice Awards (hey–we writer’s gotta toot our own horns sometimes).
Here are some things I am grappling with as I approach ‘pitch time:’
- I guess I think I’m good-enough to get published, which seems very um…well, conceited… overly confident? I don’t know…I don’t like either term. But I will tell you that there is something deep down inside of me that wants to get a book into the hands of readers. More of a drive, a personal challenge, something I can’t help but do because I am a writer.
- The art of writing a novel feels very self-indulgent. Cringe. I hate that, too. What got inside my head and whispered, “Write a novel?” Call a it muse, or “successful schizophernia” as Jodi Picoult refers to hearing the voices of her characters. But for, it’s a drive. I can’t not write. It’s just a part of who I am and who I’ll always be. I have these stories and these character who show themselves to me and I have to get it down.
- And then I wonder if I am good enough. See number 1 above. It’s a vicious cycle.
So, this weekend I am planning a little get-a-way to the UofW-Madison for a pitch planning session. I’m a nervous mess. Well, sort of. My novel isn’t finished and so that keeps the nerves at bay. But you see…that also increases my anxiety. The book. Isn’t. Finished. When my husband thoughtfully asked me how I was going to pitch the book this weekend, I clammed up. My face went white. “I don’t have to,” I said. “I am only going to learn how to pitch. The actual pitch is in a month.”
He nodded and patted my shoulder. “Well, honey. I am very proud of you.”
I smiled.
And now I am rolling up my sleeves to crank that baby out.
Here’s a quote I will leave you with, “Those writers who are good are constantly questioning themselves. The ones who aren’t any good, are overly confident.” ~ Mary Karr, American author/poet.
Write on, Wednesday!
Coming up on “Write On”:
- Pitch Practice Basics, a summary of my time in Madison, WI
- Setting up your writing space, with tips from my almost-8yo daughter
- A review of various Bestselling Authors from the book, “Why We Write.”