My daughter has a crush on a boy a school. She’s had several of them over the last couple of years…and I know it’s a typical thing for little girls to go through.
She also has one on her dad. And that, too I know is typical. It’s what psychologists call the “Electra Complex,” a stage of psychosexual development that occurs in girls between the ages of 3-6 (and the same can be said for boys and their mothers, the “Oedipus Complex”).
Girls will connect with their father at this point in time, finding him attractive, indicating she wants to marry him, etc. A father is, after all, the first male love a little girl will encounter, so it makes sense she will have these feelings.
And so, I guess I am not really sure where I am going with this…do I intervene? No. It’s a normal stage. Do I think it’s a problem? Not really. Do I feel jealous, as some mothers have indicated? Heck, no! What I am thinking is this:
- My daughter acknowledges her dad as someone she can trust, respect, and who has her best interests at heart.
- My daughter knows she can go to her dad for answers about life’s mysteries, difficulties, support, and mentorship.
- The better early connections she can have with men/boys, the better off she will be once she is interested in dating (which won’t be till she is 30, at least).
- She can learn about fixing things, putting things together/taking them apart, dad’s interest in history/civic/political events, and sports–all things I a tend to have less of an interest in.
As for now, the rule is: “no kissing anyone else unless s/he’s a part of the family”…which has it’s own implications!
If you are interested in learning more about the Electra Complex, check out what Wikipedia has to say:
Where was I yesterday? My little Kelly turned 4!! What a joy this little girl is. We spent the day at a private showing of “Tangled,” followed by gifts, and an early dinner at Red Robin complete with ice cream and sprinkles! By the time that was said and done, I was one pooped momma! Back to “Apraxia Monday” next week, I promise!